Sunday, July 22, 2012

T minus 50 days

We're considering doing a documentary called "It's a Logistical Life".  The major updates from the past week are:
- We have reservations for temporary housing starting on September 8th,
- Our house is on the market,
- I submitted by resignation letter (with my last day 5 weeks away), and

- I now own several suits.  (I know, this one's the real shocker.)

The temporary housing at Oakwood Falls Church looks sweet.  Its best amenity has to be that it has steam room.  In DC.  Don't get me wrong: I'm a big fan of steam rooms, but DC in the summer seems like it's probably one big steam room.  I'm imagining a "Steam Room" sign on a door that leads outside to a lawn chair under a boiler exhaust vent.  It might be better than that.  Especially in the winter.

I'm already feeling pretty sentimental about leaving the company I've worked at for over 15 years and one client I've worked with for over 10 years.  It's interesting: I haven't had strong feelings like this since high school.  It's invigorating, actually, and it affirms my decision to make the change.  To explain part of what I'll miss, over the next few weeks I'll explain the top 5 practical jokes (IMHO) we've played on each other over the years.

It's hard to choose just 5 because there are so many excellent candidates, such as:
- when my coworkers used Liquid Nails to glue cardboard boxes together in my new office doorway to block my access (because I was conveniently on vacation during an office move)
- covering the office and parking space of one of my bosses with CU posters because he went to CSU
- when a coworker brought his dog into his office then took the dog to the vet, at which point another coworker placed a few heated and hand-molded Tootsie Rolls under his desk where the dog had been sitting...
- when an overly enthusiastic coalition of my coworkers and clients moved a wide variety of old equipment into my office then added a "Storage Closet" sign to my office door

- when a coworker added a urinal splash pad at the bottom of a tall, narrow, trickling water fountain in our office foyer with a label "Demonstration Unit - Urinal Fountain"
- when my coworkers decorated my 400cc (i.e., relatively small) motorcycle with handlebar tassles, a bike flag, a bike horn, and clothespins with my business cards so they would slap the wheel spokes

5 - Curb Feelers.  This was my introduction to the practical joke big league.  One of my bosses had just gotten a new Pontiac Grand Am, and he was, um, "enjoying its sporty ride"?  He hit a curb while he was driving with a coworker and word spread to the rest of the office.  Another coworker suggested curb feelers could be added for his safety and the mission was accomplished.  As he drove home that night, he called his brother and held his cellphone out the window so his brother could hear the awful noise of one of the curb feelers scraping on the ground as it had slid out of position.  (Practical jokes on cars were informally outlawed after this.)



(This post written while listening to The Smiths A Rush and a Push and the Land Is Ours.)

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